on living and feeling alive

(vs. existing and feeling half dead)

Oh, I like to get out ahead of the slow blues. I want to ride into the red, pink and orange of it all. You have to reach for the hidden spectrum slotted in between the light and the dark. At this time of writing, I’m posted in a cafe in Mexico City, about to speak at a two-day conference about ‘aliveness’.

‘Find what makes you Feel Alive’ - that’s the name of the opening talk. Well, there’s something very alive-ing about speaking on stage. I, not being one to over-prepare, like to sound it out in the moment and see how and where the night finds us.¹ I like a freefall. I like not quite knowing what’s about to occur.

That’s why travel is so alluring. This morning, I woke up in this new city. Something about being in a new place awakens our senses. There is all this new texture and colour to absorb—things that bring us into the Right Now.

“Every time I travel, I meet myself a little more. Sometimes you have to leave all your cities to fall in love. “

co-ordinates, bone (2014)

When I say cities, I mean preconceived ideas, limiting beliefs, neural pathways, and roads built toward nowhere…things that keep us stagnant and scared. When I say ‘fall in love,’ I could mean in the romantic sense (if you like—why not?), but I also mean expand, grow, create, bond, and explore.

What does it mean to feel alive? Does it mean constant gratitude? Hyper-awareness of everything that surrounds us? Spiritual mindfulness? How is that realistic or possible alongside the everyday workings of our lives? Are we too busy these days? Too distracted?

I believe confronting truth and change is necessary to live a fulfilled, fruitful life. I am a writer because it is what I must do. It doesn’t provide me with the most stability, but it’s how I surprise myself. It’s how I remove the veil and stay off autopilot. It is how I pay deep attention to my aliveness. Feeling alive cannot simply mean ‘feeling good’ or the intangible state we call ‘happy’. Indeed, aliveness is the entire gamut: the hopes, fear, disappointments, losses and lulls involved in being human.

Is aliveness an acknowledgement of our constantly shifting states?

One of the things I love the most about getting older is that the people I have chosen to surround myself with are here for a reason. Over the years, my friendships have become more intentional and deliberate. After all, our friends are a reflection of who we are. When in doubt, I reach out to my immediate community. I asked my friends what makes them feel alive. Here are some of their (quite surprising) answers.