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06.33
There is always the sun and always the moon, whether they show themselves or not. If we’re lucky, we can take them for granted (and we are lucky, and we do). I read yesterday that most human brains overflow with data and choices, practically drowning in projection and endless possibility. At the same time, so many of our bodies are dehydrated/mineral deficient. What a situation - you couldn’t make it up. A constant system overload. It’s why drinking, gambling, weed, and (some) sex and long tv marathons feel so damn good, flooding the pathways with numbing relief. You can’t do anything without suppressing some need, turning certain truths all the way down. If you’re lucky, you forget tiny matters of importance. If you’re not, you forget the big ones.
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06.45
I am always going on about meditation as a means of reconnection. It alleviates a good amount of the symptoms of being here (because it is terrific and works and clears you out and puts you in your body, earthed and all that) but guess what? I’m not meditating this week because I can’t do everything. I am too busy working out for once and planning to take over the world and polishing my death wish and not writing my book and breathing life into my relationships, not cooking enough, and pretending not to know that what I want might be bad for me…
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06.40
Yes, I have jumped back in time (if you are a person who pays attention). Five beautiful minutes, to be exact. Morning time is by far the stretchiest. I am thinking about decision fatigue and how often it causes me to miss something big. How good would it be for someone just to tell you what you can’t do? What if all you had to do was obey without asking too much? It’s how many of us were raised / where we learned to fear. Sometimes I want it back. (The simplicity.)
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06.50
Mirrors are funny because even if you kind of know what you look like (and it is only ever kind of), you’ll never know how you truly appear on this day or this night. It is a design strength of the human. We see ourselves according to what we already think of ourselves/ who others tell us we are,
and what are you anyway but a composite of what you believe, have lived through,
go on to accept, think, do, and speak? When someone says, “that was so rude,” or “how could you do that,” or, “what were you thinking,” or “have you heard yourself,”
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