I want to reinstate my membership. There is something about beauty that I’ve been forgetting to collect. In my recent quest for survival, I’ve been missing the half rainbow, the water’s edge and glisten, the particular ease of the forest. Of course, the time is awful in its way - all this living calamity. Everything stinks where it lingers, and nothing can settle indefinitely. Even joy has this ordinary, cyclical habit of becoming lost to us. I fall in love, and I wonder about the consequences. I fall in love and can’t handle my reflection. I eat a meal, and many of its ingredients are shortening my life. I ruin my chances often. I am terribly complicit in more than I dare to admit. Outside, they are cutting down trees in their prime for no other reason than convenience. Cruelty is happening in all of us. It is not to be mourned - there is little to be gained from that exercise, but who wouldn’t have trouble holding the fact in certain trying hours of the afternoon? I kill myself a little more each week in the name of fun. This life tells me to handle it alone, hide away, and be sparing with my wholeness. This life tells me to stay safe by not asking for what I deserve. I fight back by telling the truth in as many new ways as I can. I want to share, to fall apart and be patched together. I want to do this with you. I tell my seemingly insurmountable secrets and end up telling on everyone. Since our stories converge and overlap and resemble each other in part, I want to be honest with my planet-kin. It’s how we make the world smaller, unlock life’s elusive meaning, and shake out the rot. It is how you and I afford our new lives, and we must. We must learn for ourselves, ignore the lie(s), learn again, divest, shatter, regrow, turn over. We’d better.
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Felt...needed...heard <3
Okay that’s the second piece of yours and I loved it too. How lucky I am to have stumbled upon you! So much is possible in the shattering and regrowth… a new incarnation. We may suffer mightily but if we can cross the divide there can be so much new knowledge and understanding.