takeaway one
Yesterday I went with a new friend to the David Hockney exhibition in London and returned feeling better about everything, fuller and uncontainable, as though even more is possible. Bursts of colour always make me feel this way, especially when arranged by artists I love. The show was narrated by Hockney, who is lovely to listen to. He still has his northern accent and said a lot of poet things.
One of them was, âFor me, there is no bad weather. If itâs raining, I draw the rain. If itâs snowing, I draw the snow.â
takeaway two
The psychoanalyst on the show Couples Therapy observed a couple having a particularly rough time divvying household chores between them. She began to speak in more general terms. âWhen Iâm working with a coupleâ, she said, âI often donât know whoâs in the room with me. Are they talking to each other as themselves, or am I listening to the voices of their parents?â
observation one
The way an inhale/exhale helps with the challenging experience.
The way we can use the full, loving breath to power the exertion.
observation two
A dear friend is talking a lot these days about the faith he has lost. Heâs in the acceptance stage, which he is calling progress. This understanding, though taxing, is teaching him something important. He tells me that nothing is owed to us, and there is no God in the sky (or anywhere else, for that matter) with any great promise or ill intent. We are what we do and how we think, and that is the sum of it. He is practising something he calls surrender, but to what, I wonder? He is taking the days as they come and putting his all into only the things that matter, which is good if you know which things matter.
observation three
I get in this embarrassing loop when I feel very stressed and small in the world. Itâs like I am always trying to find somewhere new to live - the lifestyle loop
or dream up a new hairstyle - the never-ending hair loop
or read all about new cosmetics - the so-called-beauty loop
or researching vitamins and plant medicine - the âwellnessâ loop.
Well, we all know the failings of a loop; no beginning and no end. I am trying to be in control, but the cycle has nothing to lean upon. These days I am putting things in the shopping cart and then quickly closing down the page - same feeling of completion, minimum damage.
conclusion one
The instinct to numb out is peaceless. I donât think I am in a position to say which methods are better than which. I only know what feels too delicious to be sustainable and what destroys.
takeaway four
I am half-watching a show where an inmate being interviewed in one of the Worldâs Worst Prisons is saying that murder is only natural for members of the animal kingdom and that we are only animals,
and itâs as simple as that.
Heâs happy enough staying in prison. There he knows who is who and what is what, and thereâs peace in thatâfewer surprises, he claims, than in the real world.
conclusion two
I know what he means (about the real world).
Today I am frightened, and I donât know why.
I am sure that it is some hidden, cumulative thing.
conclusion three
this poem, by Sonia Sanchez, via poetryisnotaluxury
my mom's friend sent me that haiku yesterday along with her reflections of being in her 60s and finally feeling at peace with her life and wowowow, a dream
I love all of these observations and haiku really hit home. I had a â Iâve woken up really sad but I donât know whyâ moment today. I had a great day yesterday was incredibly motivated but today is bleurghh. Iâve ploughed through the creative to do list in the hope that Iâll reach the other side. Your words always inspire and help me do thank you.