You and I both know that it matters how we view a thing; how we treat the information. It matters whether or not we let it sit there, forming an obstruction. If we were so inclined, we might stay too long in what was. We might hang around in the dim light, keeping old scores. Today is different. We know more. We have seen more. We are conflicted, more separate, lonelier than ever before, so we understand that some of our old ways were too expensive.
Some of us are traumatised. We are the visible majority. We try a hundred things a week to offset the damage, but the truths are in the shadows. We are the invisible majority. I have my anxiety, addictions and delusions to manage, and you have yours. I keep developing new, strange habits. Some of them can stay, and some need to go. (I’m working on it). We carry the rage of our youth, the grief of the last three years, the killings of last week. Of course you are afraid; who wouldn’t be afraid?
New blood is made at an alarming rate; you can feel it happen. I can no longer repeat my old wars and be content. These times find me pushing against everything I have believed that held me captive and all the conditioning that had me stuck in place. I can no longer keep the unspeakable unspoken. This is why I write out my thoughts. These times find us itching to ask questions that never before occurred - (they had no space.) Things were too chaotic or bleak, or we were trying to survive, or we were too distracted by the shock, or the lack, or the family, or what we were calling love, or we were too busy trying to please other people. These times find me wanting to be awake and active in designing something else. I want to craft a new circumstance and meet it outdoors.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to the utter to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.