I am watching a show that is not quite a horror, but very unpleasant. I'm enjoying the depth of field; the way the characters bend and rot, there's a grain to the picture that feels reassuring; rows of Malboros lined up on the counter in this one scene of red, green, gold where the policeman is trailing our lead. And you think there might be a shoot-out. But no, not yet, just more bad feeling. Outside, the forest makes a U part. The sky is storybook blue. I don't know why we watch these things except to see how bad things could get if they got any worse. We only see the cop's pink mouth. They did this to scare us, but we're stronger than that. I think of my friends - we're all lonely. We're traumatised and avoidant.
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