No, no, no—this isn’t a post about how horrible everything is. Or, not really. But if you know the utter, you know that I must say it like it is. I consider it my entrance fee for this corner of the internet I love so much. So I’m talking about this weird groundhoggy teeth-grindy nervous ticcy time of life, confusing and fraught with unknowns - and actually weirdly thrilling? But it's more like a confusing, tense thriller than a cool, intense one. And then some days are very depressing, terribly so. And then I hear The News and Celebrity Gossip (more typical of late, Celebrity Crimes), and I vacillate between trying to take in the literal horror and knowing that I want to be well informed and up-to-date. And then I regret wanting to be well informed and up to date because who can hear some of the things that go on and have been allowed to go on and are still going on and still feel mentally okay? But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about this. This moment. This era of flop. Is it me, or is it, like, the world? Now and again, one must recognise that though we are lucky to breathe air and be well(ish, for the most part), this is not the best time for many of us. And that’s okay. We can’t always come out swinging, right? We can’t always be glittering and fabulous at parties and loving how we look in clothes, right??!! - WRONG…because that is the least I can do when I feel like this. (I mean the wearing nice things part; I don’t care much about parties.)
Oh, I promise you, I’ve been reframing the moment I’m in—my most successful attempt being somewhere between ‘I’m in this low-key era of planning’ and rest and ‘I’m in this quiet era of strategising’. Honestly, I’m not really sure what it is, only that I am using it. I am Reprogramming and Redefining. I am being loving to myself but also planning more and accepting less nonsense and (gently) giving myself the kick up the ass that I needed a few years ago. I’m learning how to better care for myself in the long term because now it looks like I’m actually going to get older.
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